Carreer Decisions & Life Decisions

Well, we have technically owned this home in Florida for 6 months now.  It's been quite an adventure for us two midwesterners.  But even though we have owned the home for 6 full months, we've only lived here for just over 2 months. 

I am struggling with the decision that I made in January to retire in 2012--I did in fact retire in January.  While I don't regret that, and don't think it was a mistake, I am rethinking the decision not to work.   Back in January, I was not very healthy.  I was stressed all the time, I could see no future at Blue Cross for me that did not include working for the boss I had.  And I just could not work for him anymore.  I was approaching a job frustration level that I don't think I had ever felt before.  The situation was just not good. 

After I 'retired' I felt more isolation and loneliness than ever before.   I adore my Grandkids, but the only time I saw them was when I drove up to help take care of them, and that wasn't often enough, even though I tried to see each Grandchild once a week.  I didn't feel the purpose that a parent feels, and it was just very hard.  I never had a Grandma, my kids never had a Grandma, and I just didn't have any idea how to be one.

Florida was more of an investment opportunity, I thought, than a move.  I never wanted to move completely down here.  Now I'm thinking that what I really wanted was to get out of Ellsworth.  I never really liked Ellsworth and it never really liked me.  When the kids were smaller and still in school, I decided that even if Ellsworth didn't like me, I loved our farm, it was home, and I was going to be there whether Ellsworth liked it or not.  

So now, we're in Florida, and the weather is even better than imagined.  It is summer all the time.  Right now, I really miss the kids, and Christmas.  I feel like I worked all my life to make Christmas traditions for them, and those things really aren't relevant down here.  I think that Christmas starts with COLD WEATHER.    I want to come home for Christmas and freeze a little.  Even though this is a really healthy, active, and good place to live, I still want to come home for Christmas.  And HOME is where the kids are.  Not really Ellsworth, more St. Paul, I think.

One problem with my 'retirement' is that I don't have any income.  And we, together,  don't really have much income.  It's not a matter of having this second house, it is just not having a job.  There are jobs down here in South Florida, for which I am well suited, and I certainly would love to make the money.  But I just cannot commit to a full time future in the sunshine state.  It is too far from the kids.  So I'm trying to find a full time job up in Minneapolis.  The house here in Florida is set up well for absentee ownership, and I would love for it to be the vacation home I was thinking of. 

Wish me luck!

The Fitness Project

One goal I had in coming down here was to get fit again.
I was really fit once.  Of course I was 26 years old then, and I had no good car, so for one year I biked everywhere, and everything was a long way from my home.  

Then I got married, had children, moved to Ellsworth, etc.
I tried to regain my fitness when I worked at Blue Cross by joining Lifetime in Eagan.  I had a personal trainer, Anthony, and worked out hard, a lot.  But then I switched to Fitness Influence in Ellsworth and the whole plan sort of fell apart.

Down here, I've been walking the dog.  2.6 miles per dog-walk.  And I thought that was pretty darn hard.
Today I rejoined the Port Saint Lucie Fitness Center, at the Civic Center, and actually had a personal training session with Matt.  Matt looked like a very recently retired body builder--of the Mr. Universe variety.  The workout actually wasn't too bad, and I plan to continue working out and meeting with Matt for at least a while.  I am sure he took it very easy on me, knowing how unfit I had been.  For one of the exercises, He didn't even give me any weights!

I am not going to set ambitious goals this time.  I want to keep getting progressively more fit, and continue to lose weight.  Progress is the goal.  Of course, I have some hidden goals, but if I write them down and don't make them, I'll feel disappointed and might get derailed.  So I'm sticking with the 'progress' goal.